Introducing the Remotely-Piloted Inspector General 2000, R-PIG 2000!
At long last! There’s no longer a need to have a team of under-trained GS-13s forced to come in off telework to do half-assed IG investigations – the R-PIG 2000 does it all, and can be remotely controlled from the comfort of the Commander’s home and/or office!
The R-PIG can intake any complaint at any time, day or night. In response, it flails its appendages about for days or months on end (depending on the setting you control!) giving the illusion it is actually actively working the case. Then, BING! the R-PIG 2000 delivers, right on cue, the foregone outcome that you as the Commander want!
What’s more – the R-PIG 2000 comes loaded with tons of customizable features, like:
WHAT’S MORE!?
Coming soon to a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) office near you:
The Illegally-Delaying, Indiscriminate and Overly-redacting Tool (IDIOT). 100% compatible with your R-PIG 2000, the IDIOT makes appealing an IG investigation a veritable impossibility. No more worrying about those pesky complainants looking to appeal or sue, no sir! With the IDIOT, they’ll never see the extent of the sham of an investigation your IG undertook! Sit back and relax: that complaint isn’t going anywhere and neither is that heinously delayed, overly-redacted report…not until you have long PCS’d, at least…
Order now!